Archive for the 'Australian Jokes' Category

Scott Morrison Says Stop It!

This video is just too funny not to share. It’s in the same theme as the hilarious classic Bob Newhart Stop It! video. Thank you Inner Outer Health in Melbourne for sharing!

Lockdown Laughs

Let’s face it, COVID’s been a bummer and we all need to get a few laughs at its expense. Here’s a start, please submit your best jokes as a comment below and let’s see where it leads! As the new year approaches, I’ve added ‘Have more fun’ to my New Year’s Resolutions for 2021! __________________________________________________ […]

It’s The Most Wonderful Time For A Beer

Celebrating Christmas Cheer in true blue Aussie fashion…

Are there kangaroos in Sydney…?

Yes, they even cross the Sydney harbour bridge… Don’t believe me? Click here to see a kangaroo crossing the Sydney Harbour Bridge!

Are you a true Aussie? Take the test!

This is as good a test for Australian citizenship as any…! Come back and post your total Aussie score with you’re TRUE Aussie comment slang to go with it, just to be fair dinkum.

Don’t mess with our kangaroos!

You have been forewarned!

Man Flu Warning

Attention Australian Man Flu Sufferers!

Top 10 Blog Posts Of 2014

Here are my picks for my top 10 blog posts of 2014. There is nothing more powerful than 20/20 Foresight to know what’s coming in 2015… This is my favourite YouTube video of the year – brilliant – Word Crimes are committed by too many people’s. Antimimeticisomorphism is easier said than done – this example […]

Woofs Of Wisdom

 

Noah Today

Australia Versus the United States

Here is another funny comparison of the US and Australia… Provided by Ray Keefe of Successful Endeavours in Melbourne, Australia. Click on the map image below for the original source of the image where lots of other great maps can be found.

Bunnings Applicant

BUNNINGS JOB APPLICATION This is an actual job application that a 75-year-old pensioner submitted to Bunnings in Burleigh Heads. They hired him because he was so funny…. NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy Bastard) SEX: Not lately, but 1 am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate) DESIRED POSITON: Company’s Chief Executive […]

Australian Computer Meanings

You’d think computer lingo would be universal, but it isn’t.. Australian Computer Meanings Log On……Make the barbie hotter Log Off……Don’t add any more wood Monitor……Keeping an eye on the barbie Download……Get the firewood off the ute Floppy Disc……What you get lifting too much firewood at once Window……What you shut when it’s cold Screen……What you shut […]

Australian Passport Application

This is an actual letter sent to the DFAT (Department of Foreign and Trade) Immigration Minister. The government tried desperately to censure the author, but got nowhere because every legal person who read it nearly wet themselves laughing! Dear Mr. Minister, I’m in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this. How […]

Copper Wire Discoveries

After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, British scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago. Not to be outdone by the Brits, in the weeks that followed, an American archaeologist […]

Australia in 100 years…

Julia Gillard, the Prime Minister of Australia and David Cameron, her British counterpart, are shown a time machine which can see 100 years into the future. They both decide to test it by asking a question each. Julia goes first. “What will Australia be like in 100 years time” The machine whirrs and beeps and […]

New Australia Map

The following were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a great sense of humour (not to mention a low tolerance threshold) for cretins! __________________________________________________ Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia ? I have never seen it rain on TV, […]

New Australian Stamp

Australia Post have created and marketed a new stamp displaying a picture of the current Prime Minister of Australia, Ms Julia Gillard. The prime minister had requested a recall of the stamps following concerns that they weren’t sticking. Australia Post recently suspended a recall of the stamps after the findings of a special Senate Committee […]

Peter Cosgrove Tells It Like It Is

I teach clients presentation skills in a variety of programs and events. I often explain that it’s best to tell it like it is… But this example takes the cake. Major General Peter Cosgrove was interviewed on the radio recently. Read his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and children. Regardless of […]

Attention: Visitors To Australia

These questions are from potential visitors to Australia. They were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have am Aussie sense of humor. Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the […]