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ATO Joke

ATO = Australian Taxation Office

The ATO decides to audit Ralph and summons him to the ATO head office.

The ATO auditor is not surprised when Ralph shows up with his attorney.

The auditors says, “Well sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling.  I’m not sure the ATO finds that believable.”

“I’m a great gambler, and I can prove it,” says Ralph.  “How about a demonstration?”

The auditor thinks for a moment and said, ” Okay, Go ahead”

Ralph says, “I’ll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.”

The auditor thinks a moment and says, ‘No way! It’s a bet.”

Ralph removes his glass eye and bites it.

The auditor’s jaw drops.

Ralph says, “Now, I’ll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.”

The auditor can tell Ralph isn’t blind, so he takes the bet.

Ralph removes his dentures, and bites his good eye.

The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Ralph’s attorney as a witness.  He start to get nervous.

“Want to go double or nothing?’ Ralph asks.  “I’ll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.”

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there’s no way this guy can manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Ralph stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can’t make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realising that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.  But Ralph’s attorney moans and puts his head in his hands

“Are you okay?” the auditor asks.

“Not really,” says the attorney.  “This morning, when Ralph told me he’d been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty thousand dollars that he could come in here and piss all over an ATO official’s desk and that you’d be happy about it.”


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