Australian Blogs Blog

How can you tell the difference between Canadian, Australian, and American Police?

Pose the following question:

“You’re walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking  man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks  eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before  he reaches you and your  family.”

What do you do?

CANADIAN POLICE CONSTABLES
Answer: (Immediate thought processes)

• Is the knife a ceremonial kirpan?
• Does he prefer to communicate in English or French?
• Will this negatively impact my chances of promotion?
• Is this just his way of telling me that he pays my wages, and wants my
  job?
• Would this be an appropriate time to hug him and sing Koombaya?
• Will the media do a profile of him and how he was loved by everyone
  including his dog?
• Is the alleged ‘client’ a member of the NDP or an Environmental Group?
• Is he just a squeegee kid / pan handler trying to make a living on the
  mean streets?
• Is he a member of a gang that is just ‘misunderstood’ by society?
• Is he an undercover Toronto Star reporter looking for a news breaker?
• Is he a recent illegal immigrant to this country, and just doesn’t know
  how to approach the police?
• Is he recently released on parole and hasn’t been properly integrated back
  into the community?
• Is he a victim of fetal alcohol syndrome, and just doesn’t understand what
  he is doing?
• Warn and Charter him as he approaches.

AUSTRALIAN POLICE CONSTABLES

Answer:  BANG!

AMERICAN POLICE OFFICERS

Answer: BANG! BANG!  BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! BANG! Click…. (Sounds of reloading) BANG!  BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!  BANG! BANG! BANG! Click Click Click